Monday, March 14, 2005

Not the nice one

I realized suddenly last week that of Alexis and I, she's the nice one. I told this to Alexis, Cy and Val over mouthfuls of pink prime rib and pink chick wine, and I expected a different reaction...

Vehement denial would have been nice.

Not that Alexis is mean, you understand, but that I always have identified myself as a "nice" person. Fairly likeable, un-offensive...occasionally humorous. This turns out to be a mistaken identity.

So, all of those attributes I thought would appear charming individually - rudeness, abrasiveness, loudness, gassiness - when taken in combination, make me a boor. Not a bore or a boar, mind you, nor even a Boer.

I am a boor...

as in: boorish,
as in: get out of my way,
as in: you're not backing up fast enough,
as in: be quiet so I can hear myself,
as in: comfortable with your idiocy, are you?,
as in: did you hear my burp in the back?,
as in: I could break you like a twig,
as in: carry my things,
as in: why are you still talking?,
as in: I'm sorry, I chose not to pay attention to your whining

I really don't know why it took me so long to figure it out.