Sunday, February 13, 2005

How I mix with "the straight"

When we have to hang out with a bunch of straight couples, I start to feel like I have something to prove. I want to be manlier than the men and girlier than the women, like some super-powered hermaphrodite.

Of course, as you might guess, my understanding of gender roles is kind of, well, off...this manifests in me trying to:

Out-cook the women and out-drink the men.

I almost always out-cook the women, but I'm not sure about the drinking. Let's just say that I get *drunker* than the men. Last night, I started early with several hastily-gulped glasses of a German Reisling that knocked me off my ass and gave me a wicked headache. I was standing in the living room discussing manly things like cords of wood and butchering, and I think I was actually tilting. I did manage some pretty funny anecdotes, but screwed up the "manly" thing when I mentioned that we used to go pick up frozen meat from the butcher right after my weekly ballet class.

(As an aside, those who are wondering should know that we used to keep a meat locker in a freezer in downtown Watkins Glen. My mom and I would traipse in - me in tights and tutu - to pick up meat and cider for the week. We kept a locked drawer in a huge multi-room freezer. The butcher was a huge woman in white, covered in smears of blood and bits of brain. Even today, the blood-bleach smell can bring me back to that moment, coat wrapped tight around me, shivering in my pink tights.)

So, let's see how I did at the party, shall we?

Girl Factors (GF) vs Boy Factors (BF):

Told bloody stories about butchering.
-BF: Damn manly
Discussed tiling bathrooms in great detail.
-BF: Darn tootin'
Completely uninterested in other woman's pregnancy. Made jokes at her expense.
-BF: Manly, but jerky

Hugged all the girls and made squealy hellos and goodbyes
-GF: Damn girly
Discussed accessories
-GF: Embarassingly girly
Brought Stephanie a present of homemade goats milk soap for her birthday
-GF: Fairly girly, but in a sort of 1890s, Anne of Green Gables way. Historical points.