Hear that noise?

My crunchy quotient went up about a zillion points.

Val convinced me - she'd been after me for years about it, and one day when we were in the Co-op, she finally put one in my hand for reals.
Yeah, go ahead...lay your peepers on the "Keeper."

I've been using it for a couple of months now, and it's pretty good, if a teeny bit uncomfortable. The real problem, the one Val didn't warn me about, is this thing's propensity to make EXTREMELY EMBARASSING NOISES: loud squeaks (wet rubber), strange wet burbles and snorks (think sucking Jello dramatically through a straw). I usually end up finding a private bathroom where I won't be interrupted whilst, um, emptying the gore, but single bathrooms tend to be large, tiled, and therefore prone to echo and amplification. Sigh.

I enjoy marginality more than most, but this is a little wierd, even for me.