Saturday, January 08, 2005


Goddamn muthafucking Ann Arbor.

What the hell do I pay these unbelievable taxes for, anyway?? People, we shell out about $500 a month in city taxes to live in this MidWestern shit pseudo-college town, and THEY DON'T PLOW THE ROADS.

Seriously, I spent the morning grouting a bathroom in Ypsi, and the roads there had only a slight sheen of moisture. Once we passed into Ann Arbor, the roads were a slushy mess. Seriously, what the hell do these road crews do?? They don't like to start work before 10am, and they plow only the major roads (major roads, where the hell do I think I am?), leaving a ridiculous amount of snow on the ground, and retire to city hall. I can see them now, stockinged feet warming in front of the fire, sipping a soy chai latte in celebration of a job well done...while we slide through inches of slush and nast.

I don't think they salt. Perhaps Ann Arborites complained (hurts delicate squirrel paws maybe?).

Though, the town should certainly be able to afford the slightly more expensive option - urea. Which of course brings up the option of just going the hell into the street and peeing. Alexis had the fantastic idea of using the city's large homeless population for this purpose - a line of drunk men walking through the town, peeing in a snow-melting zig-zag pattern. Perhaps to repay the town for the $5 million dollar shelter?