The Dog Ate My Valium

I only had one...and I was saving it for a special occasion.


I took it out the night before Thanksgiving...we were driving to Chicago in horrible, horrible weather. Earlier in the afternoon, I was picking up two pies at Zingermans and the wind/ice/rain/snow was whipping against the tent. I hugged Carol and headed out into the nightmare of it. I was so worried about the drive (I'm usually nervous, but this time doubly so) that I took out the treasured yellow pill and put it on the table.

Alexis convinced me not to take it, and by the time I saw the innocuous little package again, it had been gummed beyond recognition by a dog who I'm sure did not appreciate its effects. This is a dog who chews on pine, a dog who drags her butt across carpets...not a dog who would recognize the subtle ease of tension and wonderous state of "I don't give a shit" that Valium lends.

This is a very bad dog.