iSmack - Warning: Material offensive to parents

For her birthday, wonder-girl got a spanky new iPod. I got her one (the *wrong* one, naturally), and we went back to the store to get one that she chose herself. For heaven's sake, had I known the nano came in shiny black, it would have been no question...




But, like all of us, Alexis sometimes changes her mind. In searching obsessively for mods and hacks, she found this amazing option. This evidently addresses the very real threat of iPod-related muggings.



Alexis writes:

> Maybe I picked out the wrong nano!
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> http://www.bbspot.com/News/2005/09/apple_nano_ismack.html
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> Alex - aka "Flaky," or "the shedder"

(Note that about five days after a large tattoo, the top layer of skin just sloughs off in large, colored scales. What's underneath is tender, shiny new skin, and is black, black, black. You're right - just like her new nano! Unlike her new nano, she drops the scales everywhere for days.)

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I wrote back:

Dear Mr. The Shredder,

We have processed your request to gangsta-ize your new iPod nano. Please be aware, however, after modification, you will no longer be able to load unapproved music onto your iPod. Playing any music identified as "pussy" or "punk bitch" will cause your screen to flash insulting expletives, and then possibly pee on your hand.

Thank you for your interest in the apple iSmack modification. I am condfident you will enjoy the new features provided by this upgrade.

Sincerely,
The iPod Team at Apple

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Alexis responds with a very good point:

I think, instead of peeing on your hand, the offended nano should try to "rape your ass."

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Exactly, my friends. Exactly.